June 23, 2023

Toward True Intimacy

Toward True Intimacy

Toward True Intimacy

When relationships are new and exciting, it’s easy to believe everything will naturally fall into place, leading to smooth sailing ahead. However, navigating the unpredictable waters of intimacy can be complex and challenging—especially for those of us who didn’t grow up with a clear relational map to guide us. If we leave our journey to chance, we risk “missing the boat” entirely and remaining single, or worse, finding ourselves repeatedly shipwrecked in turbulent relationships.

It’s also tempting to think that relationships are simply about “meeting the right person” or “falling in love,” which would relieve us of personal responsibility. And while it’s true that some people stumble into a perfect match through luck, the reality for most of us involves making conscious relationship decisions—whether proactively or in the aftermath of failed attempts. So, what options do we have?

Some may choose lifelong singleness, others may explore serial monogamy or polyamory, all of which can be valid paths. Another option is to settle into a “good enough” relationship with a partner willing to embrace the status quo, though this may lead to a muted emotional experience. For those who long for deep intimacy and connection, the journey involves either finding a partner with shared goals or negotiating with a current partner to align visions.

If the latter proves unworkable, it may mean facing the difficult choice of staying in an unfulfilling relationship or searching for someone new—always with the uncertainty of whether such a person exists. While there are no universally right or wrong answers, mindful choices, intentional planning, and building relationship skills can help us navigate the waters of love with greater success.

Though we cannot avoid every storm or rocky shore, consciously charting our course increases the odds of reaching a safe and fulfilling destination—a place where we can anchor ourselves in trust and rest in the embrace of someone who shares our vision.

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