July 10, 2023

Getting Through Tough Times

Getting Through Tough Times

Moving Through Pain: The Path to Healing and Growth

It can be incredibly hard to accept when life presents us with deeply painful circumstances. Our minds instinctively resist experiencing grief and despair—two of the most difficult emotions—by distracting us with secondary responses such as shock, numbness, anger, or denial. It can feel as if the waves of grief will never end, but in most cases, we eventually come to terms with the pain and emerge stronger.

However, without the right support, we can remain stuck in these difficult states, unintentionally increasing our suffering. To protect ourselves, we often develop unconscious coping mechanisms—like avoiding emotions or falling into looping patterns of thoughts and behaviours. This can create additional layers of frustration, shame, and grief. We may even blame ourselves for not “being farther along.” Unprocessed emotional pain lies at the root of many mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, trauma responses, PTSD, and addictions.

The Way out of Pain Is Through It

The only way out of pain is to fully process it—whether the event happened recently or long ago. This doesn’t mean indulging in stories or self-pity, but rather allowing emotions to be seen, heard, and felt. The harder we resist or try to outrun them, the more they linger beneath the surface. When we summon the courage to face our emotions, they can begin to move through the body and dissipate.

For traumatic events , especially those from early childhood, it’s essential to work with a trained trauma therapist. With proper guidance and support, the healing process becomes manageable, ensuring emotions don’t become overwhelming.

Somatic Experiencing: Reconnecting Mind and Body

In modern counselling, processing emotions is often framed within the context of Somatic Experiencing Therapy. This approach involves gently bringing awareness to past events and noticing how they manifest as physical sensations in the present moment.

What does the sensation feel like? Is it pulsing, tense, fluttering, or heavy?
Where is it located in the body? Does it remain constant, or does it shift and move?

As we develop the ability to sit with these sensations, we can invite in helpful resources like self-compassion, curiosity, and safety in the present moment. This process initiates a subtle “dance with the universe,” where life begins to bring new experiences that support resolution and healing over time.

Growth Through Challenge: Finding Meaning in Struggle

When we’re in the middle of a crisis, it can feel all-consuming, often clouding our ability to see a way forward. But as the saying goes, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Life’s challenges, though painful, often present us with the very lessons we need for growth and transformation. In fact, many who consciously embark on a spiritual path find that the process speeds up life’s challenges, encouraging deep personal evolution. Some even suggest that “old souls” choose more difficult paths to foster compassion, wisdom, and strength.

Letting Go of Control and Trusting the Process

Fighting against life’s hardships only prolongs suffering. When we surrender control and trust that the universe, God, or a higher power is guiding us, it becomes easier to relax and observe the journey with curiosity. It is through graceful acceptance of life’s lows that we open ourselves to a new level of being. Many people discover that their greatest hardships eventually become the most transformative experiences, leading to unexpected growth and new opportunities.

Guiding Principles for Moving Through Hard Times

Depending on the nature of your loss or struggle, these principles can help you navigate tough times with resilience and grace:

Forgive Yourself: Mistakes are opportunities for growth. Take responsibility, apologize where needed (even in your heart or prayers), and let go.

Embrace gratitude, joy, beauty, and fun: Seek out experiences that uplift you whenever possible.
Practice compassion: Avoid hurting others, remembering that they may be in pain too.

Respond maturely to others’ behavior: When others act poorly, take the high road and maintain your integrity.
Be patient with the healing process: Trust that time will eventually bring clarity and resolution.

Stay open to possibilities: Life often surprises us with unexpected gifts on the other side of struggle.
Keep moving forward: Even if progress feels slow, continue putting one foot in front of the other.

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Though life’s difficulties may feel overwhelming, they often present us with opportunities for profound personal growth. When we stop resisting and surrender to the process, we can trust that something meaningful awaits on the other side of the pain. Time and time again, people find that their greatest challenges become the catalysts for the most beautiful transformations—and you, too, have the strength to navigate whatever lies ahead.

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